As the blue-rinses waited for their dear leader at the last Tory Conference, they were treated to this stunning piece of Nu-Con propaganda.
The BBC weren't allowed to show it so they instead focused on the reactions of the frankly bewildered audience.
And as the trance beats and old jungle bass boomed out into the hall, dystopian slogans rained down on the sleepy masses, too fast for them even to get their reading glasses out. They spelt out a new world with new challenges. Such as this one:
"It is now cheaper for a teenager to buy an ecstasy pill than a ticket to the cinema"
Oh dear nodded the rinses. That sounds bad. I wonder what Dave will do to stop that. Put a tax on ecstasy tablets perhaps? Or subsidise cinema tickets maybe.
No time to think about that so on to the next one:
"The streets of Soweto are safer than the streets of Hackney."
Oh yes nodded the rinses. Bloody country going to hell in a handcart. Third world country it is. Bloody third world country.
As I read this factoid something about it just didn't quite ring true and sure enough Hugh Muir points out:
"The original source for the (Soweto) claim was Donal Shanahan, then a consultant surgeon at the Homerton hospital in Hackney, who made the claim during a trip to Soweto. But that was in 2002. So what has happened since?
Well crime has fallen in both Hackney and Soweto, and a good comparison can be made with 2005-6. Official figures say Hackney that year saw 6 murders, 256 offences of grevious bodily harm, 136 rapes and 3500 burglaries. In Soweto over the same period, there were 400 murders 7800 assaults with GBH, 1726 rapes and 5140 carjavkings. The population there is four times larger, but even that doesn't begin to account for the disparity. Still it's a nice video. Looks really great."
This is the old politics says the video and the Tory Troll completely agrees. Some change is definitely required.