The subject of David Davis has now officially reached medio-blogosphere saturation point. Any further discussion of this hero stroke clown and his important public debate, stroke vainglorious media circus, will risk complete flooding of the politico-commentariat floodplain.
To save us all from this total Davis-mania throttling the nation I propose the following emergency measures to be implemented with immediate and dramatic effect:
- Any further public discussion of David Davis and his Magna Carta defence fund should be immediately banned. Any journalist/blogger/politician/pleb wishing to discuss our nation's saviour, stroke pompous Tory, should do so within their their own space and time and beyond all access to a rapid broadband connection stroke vox-pop television link-up.
- David Davis should be summarily arrested under existing legislation and detained for a period not exceeding 28 days in anticipation of a longer detention period to be secured imminently.
- All Labour MPs stroke left-wing bloggers looking to join David Davis's campaign should be placed on a strict control order, stroke issued with a Conservative Party application form to be filled in immediately with regulation blue ink.
- If all else fails, David Davis's plans to bring back the death penalty should be quickly brought before the house to be rushed through with full use of the Parliament Act if necessary and with the public support of Kelvin MacKenzie if appropriate.
Now the Troll understands that the kaleidoscope has been shaken. The pieces are in flux and soon they will settle again. But in the meantime, a zero tolerance approach must be taken to any further fanning of the Davis media firestorm.
Because these are dangerous times for British politics and these dangerous times require dangerous measures. Let us take those measures.