Friday, 18 July 2008

Richard Barnbrook: London's Nazi without a Cause

"Richard Barnbrook is running late" said the City Hall official to the rest of the committee. No-one seemed especially bothered. "He will be about ten to fifteen minutes."

This was the London Assembly Audit Panel. The driest of all the dry committees that make up the 'meat and two veg' of an assembly member's job.

And as I sat and waited for the berk-in beige I began a mental report of his first few months in City Hall. So how has the new boy been doing in his new school?

Well in many ways it has been a hard time for the little lad from Barking. On election night, the other candidates walked off during his cringeworthy speech and at his first assembly meeting he was deliberately placed by himself with an empty seat between him and the other politicians.

And when the meeting finished, the other assembly members crushed themselves into one lift, while Barnbrook was left in another.

A couple of weeks later he travelled down to Sidcup in an attempt to recruit the friends of murdered teen Robert Knox. But after promising to bring a hundred of these angry teenagers into Boris Johnson's office he was subsequently stood up by every single one. 

Now if this was the beginning of a far-right revolution, then it was certainly going to be a very lonely start. 

But like megalomaniacs the world over, Barnbrook has never let his own insignificance get in the way of a good story. 

And on his blog and on videos posted on Youtube the world has been relayed the tale of his imminent glorious victory over the politically correct classes of London.

But in reality there are few political offices with less power than that of a London Assembly member. 

Even a local councillor has some real influence over policies in his ward, but aside from a one-off vote on the Mayor's budget, assembly members have no legislative powers whatsoever.

And apart from the once a month pantomime of Mayor's Question Time, the day to day workings of the job are intensely bureaucratic and technical. 

Hours are spent wading through impenetrable reports and documents, with only the occasional piece of political theatre thrown in to lighten the mood.

Leftovers

So as the ten minutes drifted into twenty and twenty-five, I began to wonder whether Dicky had finally decided this wasn't for him.

But when he finally jackbooted it into the room, it was clear  to me that this wasn't quite the same man who had raged about "sweeping the tide of corruption and political correctness" from City Hall.

Because shorn as he was from his regular adoring audience of three who turn up to MQT, and stuck as he was with no-one but myself and a few City Hall officers in the gallery, he put his head down and looked dreadfully keen that teacher shouldn't call him out.

And with the task before him of looking through some thirteen drier than dry audit reports it was hardly surprising. "I only got these this morning" he explained apologetically as Chairman Navin Shah repeatedly looked over to him for input.

But when it came to a report on the election 'e-counting' he suddenly became animated and raised his finger into the air:

"It is beyond me." he said without a trace of irony. "that at the Mayoral count it looked to my eye like boxes had been tampered with and it makes people suspicious and wonder why should they turn out?"

"This isn't really in our remit" the Executive Director of Finance and Performance pointed out. "When is the Elections Review Committee?" "Later this afternoon," someone else pointed out. 

And with that the British National Party's most high-profile elected politician sat back quietly into his chair. His work for the day was done.

12 comments:

Chris said...

So is that a C- then Troll?

The Tory Troll said...

More of a 'must try less hard. Attitude needs improving.' I will give him a D for dimwit.

Helen said...

I was a bit stumped as to what this meant on his blog: "Before the real “meat” of the meeting could be dealt with two hecklers had to be ejected after rolling out a banner complete with an eligible message in ridiculously small font" but then I realised he must mean "illegible". Doesn't he claim to have been a school teacher?

The Tory Troll said...

'Doesn't he claim to have been a school teacher?'

Yes there is a bit of a back-story about that which I can't really go into yet, but as for the 'meat ' bit, he seems to have become convinced that he is the 'meat' that will follow the 'starter' of everyone that has been before him. He also seems to think he is the modern day embodiment of Richard the Lionheart.

Next thing you know he will begin to think he's Martin Luther King or some biblical character even. Then he will really have lost it.

Anonymous said...

Ahh bless his little cotton socks. Never mind Barncake, I'm sure Simone still loves you. Well she would do if it wasn't for all that business the other month.

Tom said...

Richard the Lionheart was French...

Anonymous said...

Once all the sheeple wake up then they will see what a mess zunuLabor and ther friwnds have made and they will turn to the BNP. WAKE UP London before it is too late. Muslims is taking over and you are all putting it in their hands.

The Tory Troll said...

I can never work out if these are genuine or not. Is somebody having me on?

Karl said...

No, I fear sadly not. Reading the BNP website is like reading the ramblings of some religious cult - if only people would WAKE UP and realise THE TRUTH that only they can see. My favorite thing is when they call the established political parties the 'liblab-con'. Like, its so clever and true!

I do so love Richard Barnbrooks blog, though. I do wonder if he's writing to a percived audience, or if it really does reflect what he thinks. If its the latter, I feel sorry for him, a bit. *a lie*

angelneptunestar said...

Richard the Lionheart was half French through his mother Eleanor of Aquitaine, and he was brought up in France.

He spent years out of England fighting the Crusades when he was King, neglecting the country and he eschewed women - he rejected his wife and is reputed to have had an affair with Philip of France. All he cared about was fighting (good parallel there then)
and he brought the country to its knees through the taxes that funded his military expeditions.

I know, I know, I am a pain, but I LOVE history. I hope you bring as much detail about this man to public knowledge, people need to know.

Hannah said...

Did Richard the Lionheart do porn, too? Or just kill people indiscriminately?

angelneptunestar said...

I don't know if he did porn, but he was definitely an extremely cruel and ruthless warrior, with little notion of chivalry, unlike his Muslim foe. Saladin was extremely chivalrous and he made sure that his forces spared women and children, unlike the English crusader, who happily slaughtered everyone they could lay hands on, all in the name of religion.

It is such a good thing that Adam reports on Barnbrook. This country needs to know the full details of just how sick and twisted this guy is, so that people are not lured into voting for the BNP ever again. He is totally unhinged and deeply damaged and damaging.