Snipe - The Scoop

Wednesday, 31 December 2008

Boris Johnson celebrates New Year Pyongyang-style

As we Londoners get ready to celebrate the New Year, our Dear Leader will project a towering 200ft-high video of himself onto the side of the Shell Building on London's Southbank. Here is his message:
"There are those who say we should look ahead to 2009 with foreboding. I want to quote Colonel Kilgore in Apocalypse Now when he says 'Someday captain, this war is going to end', and someday, this recession is going to end.

"We can speed the demise of this recession if we all help the poorest in our community and if we make the vital investment that we need in our mass transit system and in fighting crime, so that London emerges at the end better places (sic) to compete and entrenched in its position as the greatest city on earth.

"We are going to be working flat out at City Hall to achieve that. Let's go forward into 2009 with enthusiasm and purpose. I wish you a very happy New Year."

Doubleplusungood Mayor Boris. Doubleplusungood.

-Update- The final word of the year goes to three readers of the Dear Leader's favourite Evening Standard:

God bless em.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for bringing us the views of Colin from ESSEX on London transport troll.

AdamB said...

Er that would be Barking in Essex and London. Happy New Year to you.

Chris said...

Can the Shell Centre support 200 feet of Boris Johnson's ego? Have the emergency services been warned?

AdamB said...

They're on standby.

Anonymous said...

This is the main story in the Evening Standard and is on all their billboards. Pyongyang indeed.

AdamB said...

Who needs the 'Londoner' eh?

Anonymous said...

So, is the tube alcohol ban in force tonight, or has that been suspended?

I do hope a good proportion of those greeting our glorious leader tonight are the same ones who got the 'Boris is a c***' chants going on the last party on the tube night. If so, it could make for intereting viewing.

AdamB said...

Yes it's still as operational as it's ever been i.e there's nobody enforcing it but you might get a dirty look if you have the temerity open your can of Stella whilst still on the train.

Diamond Geezer puts it best.

AdamB said...

And 853 has the official version of events.

Helen said...

Apparently, there was also a message from Homer Simpson - I wonder if the crowd could spot the difference?

prj45 said...

I love the way the Standard writes up Boris's attempts at rallying London as if he in fact actually achieved this.

Pretty much this appears to be the Standard's line; if Boris attempts to do something or says he wants to attempt to do something it's automatically successful even before he's started it.

Makes me reminisce for the Nazi regime, ah, those were the days, things were so simple then.