"There's nothing the left hate more than a black person who does well in the Tory party. They look at successful black or Asian Tories and shake their heads in bewilderment at how such itelligent people can't see what they perceive as the real truth... If you're black and you're a Tory, you've sold out."
"Having enjoyed a huge PR success (and intensely annoyed Downing Street in the process) yesterday with the announcement of an Olympic parade, Boris Johnson is about to make a move which on the face of it will be seen as a setback, but in reality will demonstrate that he is really getting to grips with his job"
"Boris has made yet another stride forward in his quest to drive political correctness from City Hall for good. He has decided that Christmas must remain Christmas and that all mentions of Winter Festivals or the like are to be banished. Today City Hall sent out a press release telling a grateful capital city ..."
And before anyone asks, Iain did really write 'itelligent.'