Snipe - The Scoop

Tuesday, 20 July 2010

Parliament Square traffic island cleared of protestors

Conservative lover-of-freedom Boris Johnson rejoiced today as Parliament Square was restored to its historic role as an unloved and inaccessible traffic island.

Bailiffs and police moved in overnight to secure the square for all those who risk their lives crossing three lanes of traffic on route to a featureless patch of grass.

Pedestrian crossings to the island have long been absent and plans to pedestrianise the square were scrapped by Boris two years ago.

However the Mayor said today that he was overjoyed that the island could once again be enjoyed by the millions of "responsible protestors" and jaywalkers who visit it every year.

Westminster Council chief Colin Barrow said he was pleased that "vociferous minorities" had been turfed out of a "World Heritage Site"

Irritating pedants once again pointed out that Parliament Square has *never* been part of any World Heritage Site.

However, thanks to Boris and Colin it will remain an unloved and unreachable patch of grass surrounded by three lanes of gridlocked traffic.

And anyone wishing to protest about this state of affairs would be advised to stay off the lawn.

3 comments:

Will said...

I quite liked the democracy camp it brightened up the square and showed that at least some people in Westminster care enough to get off their backsides.

Daniel Hoffmann-Gill said...

Just awful, I protested there illegally a few times, it all seems for show, for keeping up appearances.

Desperate stuff.

Mrs Angry said...

Why are the Tories in London so frightened of any form of dissent, any view that deviates from their own blinkered vision? This really is a sad day for democracy in our capital.