Monday, 1 April 2013

Boris Johnson appoints Deputy for being Mayor

Boris Johnson has appointed City financier Bob Zirconia as his new Deputy Mayor for Being Mayor.

Zirconia's responsibilities will include managing Transport for London's £8 billion budget, holding the Metropolitan Police to account and 'being the Mayor'.

A City Hall spokesperson said today:

"Boris is very pleased to welcome Bob Zirconia to this exciting new role. This will allow the Mayor to concentrate on his statutory functions of posing on a bike next to Kelly Brook and reading childrens books with Peter Andre."

Zirconia will be paid £2 million a year for a two day week. No other candidates were interviewed for the role. A spokesperson for the Confederation of British Industry said today:

"Bob Zirconia has decades of experience in stripping value out of profitable businesses. We hope he can do the same at City Hall."

Johnson and his deputy will outline their vision for London at a 'city breakfast' event next week.

Zirconia said in a statement today:

"This is a tremendous opportunity going forward to get our ducks in a row, drill down and really push the envelope. London has unrivalled transportation assets which I hope to maximise for maximum customer value maximisation."

A spokesperson for the Labour Party said nothing.

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